I’m human too

Don’t you wish you were

Instead of a robot sitting on the recliner

.

Don’t you wish to have worries

Or care about the world

Or is your world just a shell of a man

Left to hold me down?

.

I put in the effort

And I drink at night

I put in the discomfort

To get a reaction when we fight

.

I threaten to leave you

But you never believe

Now the jokes on you

Because I melted your keys

.

I changed the locks on the doors

I changed the taste of my food

I changed the thoughts in my head

That told me I needed you

.

I changed the way that I spoke

So you’d know it was no joke

Then when I’m gone, that’s it

You lost

.

I’d say that I can’t wait until the dream you’re in breaks

But I’ll be with me making my own happiness great

.

Then I won’t care enough about you anymore

I won’t care enough to cry on the bathroom floor like too many times before

I won’t care enough to say your name in my sleep

I’ll be to busy molding myself into the person that I love

I’ll be too busy trying to get above

that situation I found myself in

When you opened your arms but strangled my neck

.

And you’ll be wondering where I am

And you’ll be wondering how you got here and why.

And you’ll be wondering why I left so suddenly,

…yet…

It actually took me years.

.

.

.

.

.

Years of grinding down

my soul into dust that you walked on.

It took years to run out of chances.

It took years for me to lose myself and then find her again.

And when I found her, I realized that there wasn’t enough space for the both of you in my life.

.

She is a dominating presence

that presides over me.

She is a warrior that doesn’t give slack.

She is a warrior that only wants, not needs.

She is a warrior of my heart that guides my brain.

The shackles I have had placed on my thoughts were ripped and melted by her fighting ambition.

That ambition now fuels my being.

I’m a train, perhaps headed to nowhere, but at least I’m burning coal

.

Too many women have lost their lives

because they were taken over by the one they love

These are not yours to own

We have thoughts

We have aspirations

We have needs and wants the same as you

Yet we give so much of ourselves because we feel a sense of duty to take care of those that cannot…

But you can.

.

It took me a while to wake up

and when I did reality hit me like a train cruising down the tracks towards my brain that had been siting dormant for so long.

It hit me so hard that I went from one extreme where I loved you,

to the other where I hated you.

.

I was nothing but a Jetson’s housebot to you.

I was nothing more than a thing whose responsibility it was to serve your every call.

.

I need lovers to wake up everywhere.

Think “If I were you, would I do what you are doing?”

And if the answer is no,

Then you need to stand up, allow yourself to use the strength that you did not know you had in you,

and leave that doorstep behind for someone else’s shoes to cross.

.

You don’t need an anchor.

Life is too short to give yourself over to everybody and everything.

Give yourself over to you,

because you are the only one who is worthy enough for your love,

and you are worthy enough to be loved to the utmost extent.

 

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